thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
