Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
