I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Do vagina's smell?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
