Porn is love you can see.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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