margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
