I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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