Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
