This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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