you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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