I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
