you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
