Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
