I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
