i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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