What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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