Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
