True but thats because hes a fetus.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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