i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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