I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Panties = found
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
