We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
