Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
