hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
