I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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