I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
