He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
