He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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