Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
