Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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