At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
