have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
