I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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