It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
