bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
