oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
