you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
