All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sober January is a disaster.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
