Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
