Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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