Me. At least after what I've been through.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
