i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
