Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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