My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
