It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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