Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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