They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
