She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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