so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
