I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
