What a fucking waste of an outfit
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
