I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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