wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The power of my boobs compel you
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
